Full tears, belly sobs, arms flailing in the air. I didn’t know how to soothe myself and make it all better. I desired to get away, maybe refresh myself at a weekend retreat but the schedule was packed and I couldn’t find anything that would work. I realized that I was so angry because I didn’t have any dreams for myself. Sure, I’m writing a new novel but I’ve written three before. What did I desire beyond another publishing deal? I couldn’t identify it and it was making me feel empty. Have you ever felt like that? I recognized that contrast was causing me to ask, what next. I hate being down so here’s what I did to recharge my battery.
I let the tears flow (you know the cry that Oprah calls the “ugly cry”) until there were none left; then I took a nap. Naps are like hitting the reset button. When I woke up refreshed, I meditated, prayed, and dusted off my vision board. I’ve had one for years but it needed a tune-up. So I ripped the old dreams off and replaced them with fresh ones. I could feel my energy restoring. The next day I went to hot yoga. I started journaling more and remembering to dream. It’s taken me a few days to come out of it and I’m still looking into a weekend retreat, but I’m smiling again. The point is when you are down, you don’t have to stay there. Clarissa Pinkola Estes said, “I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.”
When you find yourself like I did on the floor, look up and see what you can do to pull yourself up. It’s all possible. Just believe that your dreams are worth it. Love you for reading!